Moofic...

Title: A thousand Things
By: moominlady 
Pairing: Sheppard/Weir
Rating: PG
Summary: 'Seeing her in that bed... he thinks that maybe he should have listened to her.'
Authors notes: Thanks to mizz_magenta for the beta. And to lamichelle for the Semi-beta :P (and also to blowersgatefor giving me the idea.)

Spoilers: Season 3 finale "First Strike". Haven't seen it? Don't read it :P

 

He sits there silently. Watching…waiting.

He says nothing.

She looks beautiful, he thinks. Even as the cuts and the bruises mar her face… she looks beautiful.

He takes her hand gently, stroking the back of it with his thumb, as if trying to calm her even in the deepest sleep. He almost doesn’t want her to wake up. Almost.

He wonders if it would be selfish of him to want to spare her the pain, the uncertainty of when she does wake up. And wake she will… Keller assures him of this. The damage her brain received has lessened in the days following her fall and it is only a matter of time, she tells him. She doesn’t go into the specifics of Elizabeth’s injuries. She sees the pain and the guilt on his face as he remembers, and knows that he doesn’t really need to know.

He thinks he should have listened to her. Knows he should have done a thousand things to change what happened.

A weak, broken moan breaks him from his thoughts. Elizabeth was waking. He tightens his hold on her hand. “Elizabeth?”

Her eyes stay closed, screwed shut, struggling against the pain.

“Elizabeth?” he says gently. “Elizabeth, can you hear me?”

Her eyes still closed, she turns her head slightly toward him. “John?” comes her broken, strangled reply.

He continues to stroke the back of her hand, reassuringly “Hey,” he smiles, “Welcome back”

Reaching over, he grabs a small cup of water and then holds it to her lips. “Here.”

Sipping the water, she sighs and relaxes slightly, her hand tightening briefly around his. Gently pulling his hand away from hers, he begins to rise. “I’m just going to get Dr. Keller over here, okay?”

“Please.” She struggles, swallowing, “Stay with me.”

In that moment, he realises that he’s never seen her look so frail, so weak. He can’t leave her. He won’t leave her.

Sitting back down, he leans closer, taking her hand in his once more. A movement that seems so natural to him now. He watches as she begins to open her eyes slowly, blinking rapidly. She frowns. “Why is it so dark in here?” she asks faintly, her eyes darting, searching.

He frowns too, then. “Elizabeth, it’s--” He stops. “Lizabeth… look at me.” She turns her head, looking in his direction but not looking at him.

“John, I can’t… I can’t see you” The panic was rising in her voice, her eyes still searching. “I can’t see anything!”

Something in him dies in that moment. As the realisation hits at what she’s saying, he can’t breathe. He is frozen as he watches the fear take over her… eyes wide and brimming with unshed tears, threatening to fall. He has no idea how to fix this. For the first time in his life, he feels utterly helpless, watching her as she chokes out a sob, the tears finally trickling down her cheeks. He is only broken out of his paralysis when she grabs helplessly for him, calling his name. It's his fault this has happened, and that's something he'll have to live with. Something he can't change. So he'll do the only thing he can for her.

“Elizabeth -” He takes the hands that are gripping his arms and lifts them to his face,
placing them on his cheeks and covering them with his own, letting her feel the four day old beard he now holds, letting her know that she’s not alone. “Elizabeth, I’m here, it’s okay.”

The tears are running down her face and she tries to catch her breath but she’s crying too much. And his own eyes are brimming in the knowledge that he cannot help her now. This is something that he can’t change. He can’t fly off in a Jumper and fix this.

Her fingers are flittering over his face, tracing his hairline, his ears and then sliding down to his jaw. She tries to calm herself, taking deep breaths but she’s still crying. “John, oh God, I--”

He takes his own hands and rests them on her face for a moment. “Shh, it’s okay… it’s gonna be okay.” he tells her. His right hand reaches up to smooth down her hair while his left thumb wipes away the tears that stain her cheek.

He leans further over to her so his face is inches from hers, her hands dropping to his shoulders. His hand drifts from her hair to the back of her neck and pulls her forward until their foreheads are resting together.

“It’s okay,” he whispers. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” Her eyes close and her cries subside, reduced now to shaken breaths that brush against his lips.

“I’m here, Elizabeth. I’m here.” He breathes.

He knows he should have listened to her. Knows he should have done a thousand things to change what happened.